B-day Lessons (B is for Breakthrough)

This weekend I had a most interesting and amazing experience... almost entirely unintentionally. A friend I have (used to have, now, as it were) thought it would be fun and exciting to give me a birthday cupcake laced with weed.

I started feeling a little out of it pretty quickly. In fact, I was sitting in the barber shop (my friend, getting a haircut) and I started noticing how difficult it was to send a mass text to tell my friends to meet up with me for a birthday dinner. I was able to send 10 texts and gave up, hoping they would spread the word. I became a little uneasy and pretty soon incapacitated. To the onlooker, this may have been hilarious... but I was not happy. I was a mess. I couldn't walk and for a few minutes I couldn't feel my lips or fingers. I stared at myself in the mirror, fascinated by the fact that my lips were touching, but I could not feel them!

My friend who was treating me to lunch on the beach decided seafood would be the way to go. I had stone crabs... I couldn't do anything that made me have to think. I couldn't function and peeling crab meet from a crab's body cavity was tooooo complicated for a girl that ate a potent weed cupcake! Holy Cow. I sat on my chair on the beach, texting my friend, crying and laughing at the same time. Or laughing so hard I was crying? I'm not sure. I was a sight to be seen... in public!!

The most interesting and challenging piece of the day was how deeply I was thinking. It hurt my head to think so hard. My world slowed down to about 2 meters a minute and my mind was working on its own. At one point, I remember contemplating a new theory I created in my mind about the image that's been created for large cities (I should share it with you one time.. .it's actually pretty good.) I was imagining this theory... as I did, I said out loud, "Wooow." And I knew I was a mess.

But... believe it or not, some good came out of this moment. I thought so intensely about so many things. I realized how much I trust and love only the most important people in my life and how significant that really is. I thought about my friends here in Miami and realized who they really are. I thought about the choices I make in my life and why I make those choices. Several good things came out of this crazy experience that at first had me believing my B-day was ruined. But now I am at home contemplating the consequences of that day... and they are truly positive. I am surrounded in my life by loving, good people. But the people who love me for who I am and not who I try to be are the ones who can laugh it off with me, who can wait for me at a restaurant and still love me when I am really late, who can hear whatever I have to say even if it doesn't make sense and the ones who let me admit my imperfections and then love me even more. I can no longer be afraid of how people feel about me or what they might say. I am me and you are you and if you're lucky, we are us. ;)

I do what I do because I want to be happy. I search for happiness and joy because I deserve to have it. :) B-day Lesson 27.

Deez Junx is crazy... What are deez junx called... yeah, kids.

It's true... it's been too long. So here... I laugh out loud every time I read this email that my friend sent me last Friday. She teaches 8th grade science at my school, and consequently teaches a whole bunch of my kids from last year.

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Fri 9/4/2009 3:58 PM

Today we did baseline testing and for the remainder of the period I showed a movie on Deadly animals in Africa like the python, lion, crocodile, snake, etc. The movie was funny in no way, but my students seem to make it funny with their comments-

"you be trippin' crocodile"

"that junx is fasssssst"

"they popped that elephant right in they head"

"dem billygoats??"

"dem junx on lion king...what are dem junx called? yeah hyenas"

"Kill 'em, kill 'em, kill "em"

"oh yeah lion, you scareddddddddd"

"booom boooommmmmmmmmm"

"ruuuuuuuuun"

Anyway...

TGIF!!

Ooohhh man!! It's annoying in the moment sometimes, but dang, these kids are real funny!

Goodmorning W/India.Aire

"TIME will teach you what to do."

One of, I would say, my dearest friends here in Miami is a 62 year old Venezuelan lady full of spunk, energy and amazing stories.We teach together at my school. Yesterday after school we ended up talking in the storage closet of the classroom so we could speak freely while we had a student working in the classroom! haha.. It was funny. When I realized we could keep talking for a while and we were surrounded by text books I suggested we go to dinner. Our conversation lasted until 9pm! She told me amazing stories about her past and the things she's done and lived through. I felt like I was watching a movie or reading a good book. But something she said that was so poignant and meaningful that really hit me was "Time will teach you what to do."

Think about all the ways that is true. First, if you don't know how to handle a situation or a decision to make... it's ok to take your time. Figure out how you feel, weigh out your options, explore.... Also, if you can just remind yourself of the truth of that statement: that things will come together and clarity will come with time, you can feel confident with the small choices you make everyday, especially if those choices are based on standards you've already set for yourself. Things will work out and you'll know what to do when the bigger things come around. And finally, WISDOM comes throuh age and experience. People say you get wiser as you get older, but that is because of your experiences and it happens especially to those who take risks, branch out and practice resilience and dedication. So... even after all the hardships, which really aren't completely awful... I am grateful for those experiences that have allowed me to even have a meaningful conversation with an older, much wiser woman than me!

The seeds you plant...

This is the orphanage (Casa de Sion) that I helped to start up in Cerro de Oro, Guatemala... These kids are so incredible. I remember that I had to work hard to get them into school and they were so excited to work and learn because they knew what a privilege it was to receive a good education! (An interesting contrast to my current situation. haha) The government has since come in and taken the kids with false accusations and had placed them in various government orphanages. Additionally, recently the president's wife closed down all government orphanages and no one knows where the kids are. I've heard some sad stories and I can't believe what goes on outside of our country. These kids had nothing... a good family gave them a home and a chance to become someone and their government took it from them. While at the government orphanages, they ate a lot less, lost a bunch of weight and would cry themselves to sleep and say they wanted to go "home." It's sad to know that you can plant seeds but many times your efforts will be hindered by something else that comes along to prevent them from growing. Yet, I also know that while I had the chance, I was able to instill some extremely important values and self-confidence in children who otherwise were lost, literally, in an extremely depressing and limiting life. It also helps to remember that there is a loving God in heaven who has a plan and knows his work. We have to trust.

The family who owned the orphanages I worked in is now starting a food kitchen and after-school tutoring program for children in Guatemala. I admire their determination to find a way to make a difference. I hope I can always find a way to do the same.